Loving radio, Changing the world, and Saying goodbye
Twelve years ago, I came to KBOO and tomorrow I leave. Back then, I loved radio and wanted to change the world. That pretty much describes the station, so it seemed like a good fit. As Membership Coordinator, I got to build the department almost from the ground up. It was exciting as we improved the pledge drives and increased membership, and there were always new projects in fundraising and promotions to invent and implement. The great parts were the creative freedom, finding new ways to tell the stories and the amazing volunteers in the membership department.
Seven years later, I still loved radio and wanted to change the world but decided that changing the world starts with changing ourselves. I took the opportunity to spend a year living and practicing at a monastery, and it was probably the best decision I’ve made in my life. That points to another great aspect of KBOO though. When I worked in the corporate world, I was the votes-for-Nader, eats-vegetarian, rides-a-bicycle crazy left wing dreamer. Arriving at KBOO, I was well inside the margins of the bell curve, and an adventure like a year at a monastery seemed perfectly normal.
One thing about KBOO for sure is that it’s not normal. Our good friend Terry Currier of Music Millenium invented “Keep Portland Weird,” but KBOO lived the dream, and those are some of my best memories. It’s the kind of place where I can meet a punk-rock Buddhist named Noah Levine in the lobby. He insists on having his publicist send a free copy of his book, and I feel guilty because I figure that I’m the only person on the planet interested in both punk rock and Buddhism. Years later, he’s famous. It’s the kind of place where I get to accept a giant check for $16,000 from Thomas Lauderdale of Pink Martini; he’s wearing a tux and sporting a bleached blonde shock of hair like a cumulus cloud rising from atop his head. Meeting Amy Goodman and being even more impressed than I was beforehand, particularly at her attentiveness with every single person she encountered. Dancing at the KBOO Square Dance (first time since high school) but also watching the break dancing at the station’s Hella Fresh Fest hip-hop event. Getting to know Curt The Milkman who drops off half-and-half a couple of times a week to support the cause and meet the people. Working closely with great artists like Matt Wuerker, Kevin Fitzpatrick, Kathy Wertz and Kathleen Stephenson. A Muslim program host recommending the memoir of an African-American Buddhist jazz musician (a good read). A colleague from the office officiating a wedding between three women on a bright and sunny day at the base of Forest Park.
As Manager, this was the milieu that I lived and worked in, and I was able to work towards some wonderful dreams during that time. One was improving our scheduling and program quality, not just to reach more listeners and pay for this operation, but to impact the community--to reach more deeply into and across the communities we serve--and we made the first proactive on-air changes in over a decade along with new training programs on how to produce compelling radio. Maybe more importantly, we reached broad consensus on what is compelling radio. Another dream was a culture within the station that is respectful, fun and safe. We made great progress on that one over almost four years, so it’s dispiriting now to see how quickly the positive changes can unravel.
I’ve said that both the joy and the sorrow of KBOO is that it’s a place where people can fully express themselves as unique individuals. The joy and enthusiasm that comes with the culture is inspiring, but the conflict and ugliness that people sometimes offer unedited towards others is hurtful to individuals and to the station as a whole. Managing conflict can become a 24-hour per day job that runs roughshod over both professional and personal lives. The energy that drives the fight for justice can devolve into, simply, the energy to fight, and it’s the people close at hand who are handy targets.
There’s always an ambient level of conflict, craziness and endless process that can bog down so many community radio stations, but in the last few months at KBOO, it’s gotten both personal and public. That’s why I’m leaving. That’s why the board isn’t even hiring a Station Manager but eliminating the position. The manager’s position is simply unsustainable, and that’s sad. It’s sad because the culture and conditions that lead to all of this cripple the station and hurt real people.
My best hope is that my leaving will prompt staff and volunteers to stop and look deeply, to ask why KBOO goes through the same cycles of attack and conflict over and over again, why it’s been happening for decades and what can be different.
How can the station be fun, functional, friendly, respectful and professional (in the best sense of the word). How can KBOO be a role model--something the world needs. The world is changing quickly, and the station can’t just run on autopilot, can’t just survive by virtue of the FM license we’ve been so fortunate to possess.
When the station gets serious about its own success, when it makes a reality of strategic planning, organizational analysis, market research, having effective processes even if entrenched interests fight against them, bringing a positive and professional approach to our work life, and when the station is ready to fearlessly take the next steps into the future, then KBOO will be ready for the support of a manager.
Even with all of the difficulties, I have to say thank you to the many people who have been both sweet and supportive. I’ve been fortunate in that regard, and I appreciate the board, volunteers and staff who have brought so much beauty and blessings to this experience, and I hope that you will build a wonderful future for our community.
Arthur Davis
February 15, 2010
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Comments
Joyful Journey
I have been taking my own little sabbatical from KBOO, feeling that I needed to get more focus on how I devote my energies to progressive causes. Some ideas came last week after I experienced another insightful workshop in Tucson with one of my favorite Vipassana meditation teachers, Eric Kolvig. I've come back to Portland refreshed and ready to engage again. So I just heard about your departure as station manager. What a shock.
I find KBOO enormously challenging...especially balancing the desire of each person for individual expression with the goal of building community. Frankly, that balance seems missing to me on many occasions.So...sigh...I will miss your presence and perspective at KBOO. I deeply wish for your well being, safety, and freedom from suffering.
And for Gawd's sake, have fun on your continuing journey!
Nancy B.
Goodbye, Arthur, here's what I think the rest of us can do.
Arthur:
It has been a privilege to know you and work with you at KBOO. I hope you will remain in Portland.
I have been involved with KBOO, on and off, since 1971 and have seen much wonderfulness and too much dissonance and undermining behavior.
Those who have contributed to some of the blogs here have seen my posts asking for responsible behavior when criticizing others: give evidence, don't criticize anonymously unless you tell your readers why this is necessary.
Unfortunately, there are some who do not have the courage of their convictions, and we all pay for it. In my experience, Arthur always had that. It is one of the reasons he is my friend.
I do not take sides on the content of disagreements unless I hear from the people directly involved. I do know, however, that Arthur has been open to my criticisms and those of others who have been willing to approach him.
I also know that there are people who, for their own reasons, are invested in discord. These are people who will never help KBOO be successful, who attack anonymously, who are often very self-involved and not interested in true cooperation.
Whether you have gripes with the way things work at KBOO, or think there couldn't be a better radio station, please take the time to be mindful of others and of your own behavior, especially when you are angry or unhappy.
It took me a long time to understand this, myself, but it is more useful to be effective than it is to be right.
I'll miss you around the station, Arthur. You wrote a very good farewell.
Bill
Is history our teacher?
Though I've long since traveled from lovely Portland, I've kept watch over KBOO in a variety of forms. During my days as a KBOO volunteer Host supporting the OutLoud show, I came to know a little about the ebb and flow KBOO's family, politics and passions. As a seasoned (25+ years) consultant specializing in healthy, loyal team development (dissolving office / community politics, etc.) I found myself wondering two questions as my volunteer role unfolded.
Q1: Will KBOO mainstays be able to balance the art of forgiveness with the art of change. Example: when unkind words fly, are they recognized forever even though change is a constant. Can folks simply agree to disagree and move on. I sensed most KBOO leaders at that time were able to agree to disagree and move on. I also sensed some loyal, dues-paying members / factions unable to let go of various flavors of anti-estabishment fueled by a passion to feed chaos at every turn by simply being roadblocks to change.
Q2: Are KBOO members ready to actually live KBOO's charter? Walking one's talk is one of the most challenging (and rewarding) walks we have as we learn and grow. KBOO's mission inspires me to learn, live fully, let go of fear and grow old with grace.
As I attended a couple KBOO sponsored community gatherings, I sensed a 90/10 ratio of make / unmake. 90% of those attending were ready, willing and able to pitch-in, work, release, renew and help KBOO grow. This inspired me to stay on as a volunteer. 10% were simply, absolutely, unconditionally stuck in "this is how we've done it, this is how we'll do it" (even though the current way of doing it was factually failing). This 10% is what I had to come to terms with as I decided to bow out of KBOO and, later Portland.
To all those kindred souls who've breathed countless hours into KBOO's sails, know I bow in gratitude for your support. (Carla - without you - would OutLoud still be on air? Ani? Without you, I can't imagine KBOO's volunteer rolls would be so full, so warmly cared for!) For all those who seem laser-focused on self interests sheathed in a trojan horse of "protecting the cause," I now have two new questions:
Q1: Are KBOO staff, volunteers and member's students of history? (They say history is our teacher.)
Q2: When you witness, dear, talented, respectful, ethical leadership leave, how will YOU help those that remain?
Namaste
Soul
happy trails
Hey Arthur,
If you're still reading this 2 weeks later, congratulations. Your tenure as Station Manager may have been KBOO's longest. I think I've known them all, as well as being one, and it's a crazy, wonderful job but it eventually drives everyone out. You seemed to have brought some of that Buddhist calm to the station for a period and that in itself is an accomplishment. Good luck to the staff on their new collective management experiment (I think it was last tried in about 1975 with Sara Cook). And happy trails to you, hope you get some time to relax before your next adventure.
Arthur,Sure you have made
Arthur,
Sure you have made some mistakes, the board may have made some mistakes and well the hosts, the programmers and the general public oh, and the world oh, and I have made some blunders! KBOO continues down the path of letting a few dramatic and angry people rule- in spirit that is, and continually looses quality people. What's more, people who want to work and volunteer in a respectful, kind, can-do environment are not typically attracted to KBOO.
I have appreciated all of your soulful work over the last decade plus. Incredible what you have put into KBOO (for a barely livable wage, I might add) and how you brought a respectability and compassion to the station that was dearly needed.
I am not your fan or your friend. I do like, KBOO, though, am a member, and appreciate the hard work that everyone! puts into putting quality radio into the world. I understand your leaving, and am a bit worried that you are just the first of many quality people who will go.
Arthur, I wish you all of the best in your new endeavours---
KBOO, I wish you all of the best in weathering the loss of
one of your most loyal, intelligent, compassionate and publicly stabile
leaders...Your public is listening, alright, and watching too...
A Fine Farewell
I sit right now at the computer directly adjacent to your office, Mr. Davis. But this is for all of KBOO, anyway. He is right, there is an unsustainible degree of factionalism and blame for things that don't go right around here. It is sometimes more of a playground than a broadcast facility. Arthur has stood at the center of this storm and retained a calm, grounding presence so long as I've had the opportunity to observe him. God knows its a troublesome job, but as he said (in my own words), KBOO is just so rad a place that all is forgiven. This station, in over 40 years of broadcasting history, is not only a landmark for Portland and Oregon, but for radio history, this is one of the few standing pillars of community involvement and independent broadcasting. Interdependent broadcasting is more like it. There is no KBOO without the listeners' funds. There are no listeners with programmers' ideas. There is no program without the support of staff.
I do hope that the absence of a manager will force us programmers, volunteers, and listeners to delve in to our awareness of what this station means to us and how we can better present our part of it to the best of our ability. Without a central executive we are the station again, as it began, as it is in spirit, independent and interdependent simultaneously. There is a whole lot of room to grow our role with this station without a manager. This is not to say he or any manager had kept us down or limited our growth, but it is to say that we (the programmers, volunteers, listeners) are in a unique position now to develop our influence on the station, conscious of the interdependence and spirit of teamwork KBOO must thrive on to get beyond the budget problems, programming fallouts, factionalism, and drifitng listenership we're dealing with now.
And as for you, Arthur, I am quite sure you'll move on to great things. May you be successful, may you do good work, may the merits of your work benefit everyone.
Arthur's Leaving
I'm so sorry to hear the news of Arthur's leaving. I think he brought a modicum of stability to kboo that will be sorely missed.
Thanks Arthur
I first met Arthur having only been a programmer at KBOO for about six months, and under difficult circumstances. Arthur stepped carefully into an unpleasant situation with calm, grace, and patience when the station conflict resolution process had faltered.
His extensive personal efforts to foster better communication and calm the situation were badly misinterpreted by some. Looking back to that time, I wish that KBOO then had asserted what has been clarified in a recent staff letter, that KBOO rules of conduct apply on the website and in other media, not just on the air.
It has pained me deeply to see how badly Arthur and others have been treated recently by some in the KBOO community. I can only hope that our board and staff will be able to lead KBOO out of the current moment, to a place where KBOO becomes an environment where kindness and respect are the norm.
Ed Kraus
You'll be missed Arthur! I
You'll be missed Arthur! I haven't been with KBOO as long as most people have, but I always appreciated your positive energy and good ideas. Best of luck with your future endeavors.
Thank you for all of the
Thank you for all of the thankless hours you have put in! Good luck with you next endeavor. You are loved! ~Julie
wow, I was shocked to hear your leaving.
You don't remember me I'm sure but remember Mary Hope? We hung together back in the day. I have lost contact with her as I often do my friends, but I always smile when I hear your voice on the radio. I am distressed but not all together surprised at the goings on in our little community experiment. I too came up against powerful forces. I let myself into the sacrificial lamb role, but I know it is a flaw within human relationships even when you think everyone speaks the same language.
I wish you well in your new adventure, Kboo will be less with out you. Tracey
Dear Arthur, I am saddened to
Dear Arthur,
I am saddened to hear of the changes. I am new to KBOO but have been very impressed with it since my friends have recommended it to me. I would assume a lot of this has to do with your work. Further, I just wanted to mention that I met you at a Thich Nhat Hanh retreat at Deer Park. I knew this station had a strong Buddhist presence...no wonder why I love it so much. And I must admit I am proud to be a fellow "votes-for-Nader, eats-vegetarian, rides-a-bicycle crazy left wing dreamer."
Peace,
Terry